Mayonnaise: A Love Affair

I once heard someone refer to mayonnaise as "the white death".  As a kid I never understood what mayonnaise was, except that it was bad-- fattening, and bad for your cholesterol.  At picnics or delis I would wrestle with whether or not to add mayo, and would sometimes sneak a little gold packet of the white death before anyone saw.  I was never sure who would judge me and think I was gross for going for the white stuff.

Now as an adult who strives to eat a paleo diet, I realized mayonnaise is just eggs and oil. And easy to make! This realization has allowed me to burst forth from my mayonnaise-loving closet. 

I use the recipe found in The Paleo Diet  by Loren Cordain. Chicken salad, tuna salad, and cole slaw are on the menu each week at our house, and with summer in full swing, these salads are timely, delicious, and add a wonderful new dimension to paleo eating. If you happen to own the the magic bullet,  making this is truly a breeze because you can process and store your mayo in the same container.  And you thought the bullet was just for daiquiris...

Now that all the mystery and scandal around mayo has dissipated, I'm even more enticed.  I plan to commit to this homely condiment for a lifetime. 

And now for some mayonnaise-inspired art by Marc Johns.

 

Paleo Mayonnaise

• 1 cage free egg
• 1 tsp. fresh squeezed lemon juice
• ¼ tsp. dry mustard
• a little less that ½ cup of olive oil
• ½ cup flaxseed oil  **to balance out the omega 3s and 6s. Clever, right?

 Directions:

1. Put egg, lemon juice, and mustard in your food processor/magic bullet, and turn it on for about 5 seconds.

 2. Slowly add oil mixture.

 3. Keep adding till the oil is all in and you notice the consistency of the mayonnaise is becoming thick.

 4. Place ingredients in a Tupperware and refrigerate it. It should stay fresh for about a week or so.

How We Move (or don't) in the Modern World

I've worked in an office for almost four years now, an environment that demands hours of sedentary activity, and compared to my previous jobs as a waitress, a nanny, and a graduate student, sitting all day has been a struggle.  Don't get me wrong, I'm totally lazy just like you, but what I hate hate hate more than anything is a day at the office where there's not much going on; no meetings, no deadlines, no training--and I sit, motionless for hours. It starts to feel like I'm just doing screen time until five o'clock when I'll switch to the car for the hour commute home (where I may sit watching television or writing for another few hours).  Luckily I find motivation in all this sitting, and get myself moving to the garage gym or my bike as soon as the whistle blows.  It's the only way I stay sane.

A few years ago I remember complaining to my boyfriend that 30 to 60 minutes of repetitive cardio and weight machines didn't seem to balance out the 10 or more hours of sitting I did everyday.  Those hours were spent working, then commuting, then watching TV or on the internet.  Even though I was technically active, my daily routine still felt unbalanced.

I recently discovered an article via Mark's Daily Apple, an excellent blog on primal living, about this extreme imbalance. In it, research shows that we need to move more than just the prescribed 30 minutes per day in order to fight heart disease.

Phys Ed: The Men Who Stare at Screens By GRETCHEN REYNOLDS

...the men who sat the most had the greatest risk of heart problems. Men who spent more than 23 hours a week watching TV and sitting in their cars (as passengers or as drivers) had a 64 percent greater chance of dying from heart disease than those who sat for 11 hours a week or less. What was unexpected was that many of the men who sat long hours and developed heart problems also exercised...Their workouts did not counteract the ill effects of sitting.

Yikes! Not what the 30-minutes-on-the-elliptical-machine lovers want to hear!  Turns out we have to do a whole lot better to keep heart disease at bay.

As Mark often writes on his blog, we humans were designed to move, a lot, not sit on our butts all day and then run on a machine for 30 minutes at the same pace.  It makes sense, right? Mark has an excellent entry of his own about how to cope in a cubicle.   Reading this article was another break through for me, the girl who has learned how to do triangle pose in a bathroom stall, or can be seen doing push ups behind her desk in the afternoon.  Like I said, it's been a struggle, but this article proves that I've been on the right track, that extra movement is beneficial. 

So now I'm a bean counter of movement.  I pay more attention to my daily movements and try to make the most of them.  I used to make fun of hefty folks who parked far away from the front of the store in order to burn extra calories, but I now find myself doing the same thing.  Not to stay skinny, but to stay alive!  When it comes to chores, I have a new added appreciation for tidying the house. Also, it turns out that physical work often equals money saved. If we're moving, we're usually not consuming. If we do the work ourselves instead of paying another man or machine, we're saving dough! Yay!

Ways to Move...and Save

Here are a few things I've been doing to move more.  If you happen to be a person who makes a living doing manual labor, you're probably already laughing at this entry and scoffing at my complaints and research.  It probably goes without saying that this information will only appeal to fellow office dwellers. 

Start the day with a yoga video, or Thai Chi video, or any other video you enjoy. Sometimes I do 20 minutes, sometimes 40 minutes. It's free and convenient and feels great.

Walk during lunch: I've been doing this methodically for years simply because it's a nice way to spend the lunch hour.  It's free, and keeps me from making B.S. trips to Target where I can easily blow 50 bucks when all I needed was a birthday card.

Clean the car: I recently opted for the $3 basic car wash and decided to detail the inside myself.  This involved carrying out the vacuum, crouching, bending, and other unattractive ways of moving, but movement nonetheless. 

Squats: whenever and wherever. A set of 20 is enough to get my heart rate up and some oxygen back to the brain.  I do them all day long at the office, usually behind a closed door. (I'm sure my co-workers would thank me).

And oh yeah, CrossFit workouts! Many days of the week I'm quite sore from doing the WOD, and these light extra activities actually help alleviate the soreness.

The other great benefit is the time away from THE SCREEN. Interacting with people, animals, plants, listening to music, creating something--the brain is better off with some time spent with Real things. I'm sure there's a study somewhere that supports this.

And finally, so I don't feel like a total fraud, I must admit that I'm passionate about my couch.  Like, passionate.  When you've made your house home, it is a glorious place.  Beer, a husband, and a few sweet kitties make it all the more magical.  But only after one has earned it.

Making Fun of CrossFitters

I like making fun of people, especially people who are so nerdily into something they create a sort of cult. Trekkies, Nascar fans, fantasy role playing gamers, intensive in-line skaters, etc. CrossFitters are no exception...except that they look cool, or so they think. Sure, I'm probably making fun because of my low self-esteem and insecurity, because I can't do 100 pull ups or never puked after a work out, or whatever.

What makes enthusiasts so interesting is the culture they create that, to them, is normal, but to outsiders, is freakish. I still consider myself an outsider in the world of CrossFit, quietly working out and whining about it on my blog, but I've gotten a sneak peak of this elite culture, and it can be funny. CrossFitters aren't dorks, they're just CrossFitters. Nuanced or not, there are several ways to spot one. But don't get caught making fun, because CF'ers could rip your head off and squat thrust your torso and wall ball your head 5 rounds, 100 reps each, for time. Here's my rundown:

CrossFit Fashions
If they're hardcore: tribal tats, an affiliate t-shirt with a bad-ass logo, the Vibram five fingers, knee socks, board shorts and a wallet chain (see the video below), and of course, going shirtless (note, the harder the work out, the more naked you must become). Sure, some of it's functional, but isn't it great that it all happens to look good together and distinguish you as an elite specimen of fitness? By far the coolest CrossFit fashion is war wounds; bruises and scrapes along the shins, blisters on the palms, and abrasions on the collar bones. I'm currently showing three blisters on my palms and a nice bruise on my left shoulder where I allowed a 25 pound dumbbell to come crashing down on me. So yeah, while scrapes and bruises are often signs of dedication and tenacity, in my case they are signs of weakness and stupidity. 

Gratuitous Photography
Taking photos of yourself or others doing WODs. I love photography, but sometimes wonder what the point is of having photos of myself looking so utterly tortured. Sure, the process is glorious and I love a good hard workout, but it's not pretty. I find it especially bad if you've had your fitness photos done professionally, and aren't a professional at anything.



Hurling
Maybe some consider it a sign of a truly successful workout.  A badge, an initiation, a good story.  I think it's gross and have tried to avoid blowing chunks in any way possible.

Ego
The least fashionable and least funny, we all have one, but the trick is keeping it on the down low.  Luckily I'm not very strong or tough, so I can totally be above having one.

In all seriousness I'm thankful for a program that is so innovative, challenging, and honorable. Yes, honorable. Now, enjoy another video.

Hand Stand Push Ups: A Cool Party Trick.

CrossFit workouts incorporate movements I never would've dreamed of doing at a regular gym.  Some of the exercises remind me of something a dude would try at a party after a few drinks just to show off. Whatever their origins or purpose, some CF movements are simply exotic, but nevertheless entirely challenging. 

Take hand stand push ups, for example.  Not long ago I was struggling just to crank out a few regular push ups, and the idea of doing them upside down with body weight and gravity working against my toothpick arms seemed downright impossible. Ahh but that's what I love about CrossFit. It busts down those barriers in the mind that tell us what is and isn't possible.

I first became intrigued by this exercise when I saw competitors at the Superfit games in Charlottesville struggling to do them.  I also saw a girl doing them as a warm up, and she made it look easy.  Jealously quickly ensued. My fiance pointed out that her short stature helped, because the shorter your arms are, the less range of motion you have to cover.  This girl was doing them with a rubber plate, so she wasn't going down all the way, but none of that mattered. I wanted to learn.

Luckily I'm a natural at doing handstands.  All my years of yoga have helped with that, and I actually love being upside down.  I used to do a headstand while watching TV to practice my balance (which my family hated). Unfortunately, I'm kind of tall, so when I'm in the hand stand position it seems like I've got miles to go before my head comes anywhere close to the ground. Sooner than that, I inevitably reach the sticking point where toothpick arms go to jelly and I nearly crush my skull.

My approach to this exercise was to first just hang out in the hand stand position, usually for a minute at time. (This helped!). Then, I began to slowly lower myself until I couldn't stand it anymore, and promptly pushed back up.  I keep doing it everyday, somewhere around 10-15 attempts after finishing the WOD.  I use a thick piece of cushion for safety, and over the past week have been able to touch the crown of my head against the cushion.  Woooopty do.  It's a small success.

Check out this very excellent video from CrossFit kids that is both ego-crushing and inspiring. There is much to learn from and love about this video; the clever progressions, Duncan's dedication and tenacity, his little pair of high top chuck tailors, the dogs, and his early success.  (I also LOVE that he's working out in what looks like a climbing gym. Very cool).

The video has inspired me to put myself on a 6 week program, and to try some of the progressions Duncan demonstrated. Right now I'm technically in week 2, which  means I should be able to do a hand stand push up by about May 3rd. I'll keep you posted, and if successful, will be a happy CrossFit girl with a very cool party trick.

Playing Outside

The hard core winter weather has broken and it's now possible to go outside without huddling against the cold.  No huddling!  Hoorah for that.  The grass is a lovely shade of green, and temperatures have been lingering in the 50s and 60s.

Spring in a small mountain town is intoxicating.  There's so much to do outside that one can't help but become distracted.  Even from doing WODs?  Yes, even from that.

Rolling down a hill: a new CrossFit workout?  These kids are on to something.

This time of year I find myself wanting more out of my workouts, like, the added dimension of play.  I admit that if I had the choice right now to either go for a bike ride or do a WOD, I'd chose the bike ride. In fact, this past weekend I chose the bike ride three days in a row, and did not do CrossFit on any of those days.

I wanted to share an honest confession, that even though working out and getting strong is important to me, so is playing. CrossFit seems like a program that captures the essence of play.  Although it's a finely-tuned, disciplined program, it's also "broad and inclusive".  Sometimes learning a new CF movement feels like playing, and that's what attracted me to it in the beginning.

I encourage all CF girls to run around outside as much as possible during this sexy time of spring fever.  It's healthy in so many ways and part of what makes us happy balanced human beings.  As much as I believe in discipline, I also believe in breaking the routine just to exercise the power of choice.  Feeling free feels good.

In my defense, I'm back on track this week, following the program via the internet and visiting the garage gym.  Today will be my third WOD in a row and I'm getting more sore with each workout. I'm ready for a rest day, and then, more bike rides.

Working Out While Sick

Just after feeling all inspired to sharpen my focus, set goals, lift heavier, dominate the world, etc., I got a sore throat.  Then came the aches and fatigue.  I shook that off only to be visited by the same symptoms a few days later, but worse.  Then I developed a wretched cough and entered phlegm town U.S.A.

Being sick for over a week has been frustrating, to say the least.  At night I'm a miserable mess and have been missing out on valuable rest.  Several days I've been hopeful enough to pack my gym bag, hoping to hit the garage for some kind of CrossFit action, only to retreat home at the end of the day feeling tired and defeated.

One thing that has managed to make me feel like I'm still on track, fitness-wise, is yoga. When healthy, I try to do yoga at least once a week.  When sick, it seems to be my go-to workout (if I have the energy).  It's not because I think it's too easy and doesn't count as a real workout, it's just not what I prefer right now in an everyday exercise program.  Since discovering CF, I've come to love short aggressive workouts and lifting heavy things. This past week I've been in need of something gentler, and I've been able to do yoga when I haven't been able to do much else.  I admit, if I had a full blown illness I would not recommend doing Yoga or any kind of workout, but for cold-like symptoms that tease at normal health, it's just right.

I took my first yoga class at age 12 while in ballet camp from a group of Russian instructors who couldn't speak English. It was an awkward and mind blowing experience.  We did breathing exercises and head stands, and had permission to stick our butts out and let our feet turn in. It was the greatest departure from ballet that I'd ever experienced and it felt radical and liberating.

A happy place.

Over the years I've tried all kinds of yoga and have developed my own snobbery about it.  I don't prefer to mix it into a cocktail with other exercises, but to keep it pure, and keep it in a studio (as opposed to a gym).  My favorite is Ashtanga.  Less static than Hatha, Ashtanga focuses on the flow from one position to the other.  It always begins with sun salutation, then moves on to various levels of difficulty and can include back bends and inverted poses, my favorites.  It's great fun.  More info from Wikipedia. 

I could write an entire blog about the benefits of yoga. For CrossFitters, yoga can be used as "active rest" and in turn prevent injuries.  While yoga won't have the same aggressive demands as a WOD, it will compliment a CF regimen by improving flexibility and softening muscles. It's a perfect low-key, I'm-so-sore-I-can't-walk, rest day workout. There are many videos available and one can learn and practice at home, which is a great way to get started.

To me, CrossFit is the ideal way to achieve fitness while yoga is the ideal way to achieve lifelong vitality. Anyway, next time you visit phlegm town U.S.A. you may not be able to attack a hard WOD, but you can drag out your yoga mat and breathe your way back to health.

In Search of Salad

 
We can do better than this.

Let's talk about salad! The leafy stuff is integral to a paleo eater's diet, and it's important to become excellent at preparing them.  Too many times I've wandered the produce section aimlessly, clueless about where to start.

Why not hit the salad bar??  Unfortunately our local store doesn't have one.  Salad bars are great in a pinch, but most are filled with pre-made salads, dressings, and toppings that are questionable in terms of salt and sugar.  Eating well is about control, and I always feel best when I know exactly what's going on.

In this entry I've formulated an arsenal of go-to salad recipes that I can, 1) remember, and 2) easily create. These are my personal favorites, and are inspired by great salads I've had at restaurants over the years. The ingredients are simple and easy to remember.  Another bonus:  I'm not a big fan of recipes so there's no measuring involved.  Yay!

Caveats:  these recipes, like me, are not 100% paleo (but darn close). Also, the list does not include a "garden salad".  I have come to shiver at them, or what restaurants have made them into:  iceberg lettuce, cucumber slices, tomato wedges, and ranch dressing.  Of course even this pile of blah can be modified into something better but it still kind of bores me.

Shrimp or Salmon Caesar.  The easiest to make in a hurry because shrimp and salmon can be purchased unfrozen and take only take minutes to cook.  I prefer to saute the shrimp, and to broil the salmon.  I know it's not paleo but I sprinkle a tad bit of Old Bay on the fish/shrimp.  I'm from Maryland. I can't help it!

Shrimp Stuffed Tomatoes (Salad).  Inspired by Rachael Ray but modified to be healthier. Take a big ripe summer tomato (preferably from you or your friend's garden), core it and slice it 8 times from the top down without cutting the whole way through.  This gives you a tomato flower of sorts. Chop the shrimp and mix it with celery, a hard boiled egg, steamed cauliflower, olive oil, and season with Old Bay.  Pile that onto the tomato flower, serve over greens, and enjoy.

Simple Salad with Apples: chicken, apples, walnuts, dried cranberries, and homemade honey mustard dressing (equal parts honey and mustard).

Simple Salad with Grapes.  Just like the aforementioned but slightly different:  chicken, grapes, walnuts, and homemade honey mustard dressing.

Roasted Veggie Salad: inspired by Donna's in Baltimore, this is incredible (especially during winter) and can be prepared with your choice of veggies.  It seems to me the vegetables were always a little brown and crunchy, so you can experiment with leaving them in the oven a little longer if you like the crispy texture.  I prefer onions, cauliflower, broccoli, and sweet potatoes. I think Donna's used to serve it with tuna, which was great, but many sources of protein would compliment this perfectly.

Greek Salad:  romaine, a variety of olives, tomatoes, and onions. Easy.

Pepper Salad: inspired by an old friend who served this at sandwich shop in Ocean City, Maryland. Green and red peppers, avocado, fresh ground pepper. Mixed greens are preferable. If you want to be bad, add some fancy croutons and a small scoop of bleu cheese dressing. Either way, amazing. 

Baked Potato Salad:  inspired by the Princess Restaurant in Frostburg, Maryland.The Princess makes this with a regular white potato, but sweet potatoes are more nutritious. Bake a potato, then split it open vertically and horizontally.  Assemble a basic salad and pile it onto the potato.  They used something with cucumbers, tomatoes, broccoli, and cheese. Use whatever suits your taste.  The warm and cool temperatures and the contrasting textures of the soft potato and the crunchy vegetables is delightful!

Oh how I miss spending hungover mornings here...

Fajita Salad:  chicken or steak (sometimes we use buffalo burger), peppers, onions, salsa, avocado, and greens. Season with red pepper flakes. Don't worry, the avocado will cool you down. What does Emeril say?  Oh yeah.  Bam!