I like making fun of people, especially people who are so nerdily into something they create a sort of cult. Trekkies, Nascar fans, fantasy role playing gamers, intensive in-line skaters, etc. CrossFitters are no exception...except that they look cool, or so they think. Sure, I'm probably making fun because of my low self-esteem and insecurity, because I can't do 100 pull ups or never puked after a work out, or whatever.
What makes enthusiasts so interesting is the culture they create that, to them, is normal, but to outsiders, is freakish. I still consider myself an outsider in the world of CrossFit, quietly working out and whining about it on my blog, but I've gotten a sneak peak of this elite culture, and it can be funny. CrossFitters aren't dorks, they're just CrossFitters. Nuanced or not, there are several ways to spot one. But don't get caught making fun, because CF'ers could rip your head off and squat thrust your torso and wall ball your head 5 rounds, 100 reps each, for time. Here's my rundown:
CrossFit Fashions
If they're hardcore: tribal tats, an affiliate t-shirt with a bad-ass logo, the Vibram five fingers, knee socks, board shorts and a wallet chain (see the video below), and of course, going shirtless (note, the harder the work out, the more naked you must become). Sure, some of it's functional, but isn't it great that it all happens to look good together and distinguish you as an elite specimen of fitness? By far the coolest CrossFit fashion is war wounds; bruises and scrapes along the shins, blisters on the palms, and abrasions on the collar bones. I'm currently showing three blisters on my palms and a nice bruise on my left shoulder where I allowed a 25 pound dumbbell to come crashing down on me. So yeah, while scrapes and bruises are often signs of dedication and tenacity, in my case they are signs of weakness and stupidity.
Gratuitous Photography
Taking photos of yourself or others doing WODs. I love photography, but sometimes wonder what the point is of having photos of myself looking so utterly tortured. Sure, the process is glorious and I love a good hard workout, but it's not pretty. I find it especially bad if you've had your fitness photos done professionally, and aren't a professional at anything.
Hurling
Maybe some consider it a sign of a truly successful workout. A badge, an initiation, a good story. I think it's gross and have tried to avoid blowing chunks in any way possible.
Ego
The least fashionable and least funny, we all have one, but the trick is keeping it on the down low. Luckily I'm not very strong or tough, so I can totally be above having one.
In all seriousness I'm thankful for a program that is so innovative, challenging, and honorable. Yes, honorable. Now, enjoy another video.
