But like I said in my first entry, I don't want to lie and say I eat paleo all the time, as if that's it, the truth, end of story. It's incredibly hard, and I find myself making allowances during this initial adjustment period. Especially with Christmas in the mix. When do I cheat? When do I hold steady? Who will I insult when I turn down their delicious homemade food?
The holidays weren't as painful as I thought, because I made a decision: I would cheat, and I would be ok with it.
My biggest weakness has always been sugar, in any shape or form, but I was surprised at how little interest I had in the Christmas desserts. (I still had some cookies, and wine to follow). Despite my previous struggles, I had established new and healthy habits before I went home for the holidays. It felt good to realize that. (I do need to credit my mom for making such a paleo-friendly Christmas dinner: the turkey, shrimp, salad, and veggies were delicious and made me feel great. Thanks mom!).
Of course, I didn't escape the unplanned indulgences and the leftovers that came after the celebration. I went home loaded up with cookies, chocolates, etc., and I enjoyed several delicious family meals with hardly a vegetable in sight. But overall, not bad. Certainly much better than holiday eating of the past.
The Temptation of Saint Anthony, by Salvador Dali. This would be more befitting if those animals were piled high with cookies.
Despite getting through the holidays fairly well, I'm still cheating. I find myself craving oatmeal raisin cookies like crazy. Not for the sugar, but for the GRAINS. I'm afraid that if I never ever ever ever let myself enjoy that, that it might backfire and cause an all-night, paint-the-town-red, scandalous oatmeal raisin pillaging, from which I may never return. So what's a girl to do?
The answer: keep cheating. Yes, even after the holidays. In fact, there will always be cheating. It's nearly impossible to eat paleo all the time, and while every effort should be made to follow it, cheating will always be part of the picture. (A very small part of the picture, hopefully).
Out of desperation I've created a sugar-free granola ball of sorts that has several non-paleo ingredients. This is my big cheat. My big offense. And honestly, it could be worse. It feels bad to cheat, but great that a small ball of sugarless oats can do the trick, rather than a few Godiva bars which God knows I could destroy without thinking.
Eventually, I'd like to say I splurged and ate an extra apple. But for now, this is a beginner's cheat. This is all about choices, and I chose to forgive myself.
Mr. Cordain would back me up on that, too. In the book he presents three levels of paleo eating. In Level III you can have three "open" meals per week. "Open" meaning you can eat what you want, without being abusive, of course. Level II means two open meals per week, level I means one open meal per week.
I'm not sure I can even follow a Level III diet, but it's something to aspire to, now and always. I'm loving the concept of the levels because it grants us permission to enjoy ourselves while consistently focusing on a broader vision of health and wellness. What could be better?
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